Living On The Line

Oh, how I adore teh interwebz.  (That's "the internet" to those of you who are LOL-deficient.)  I have found several ways to make modern technology work for me, in terms of wasting time.

(For the record, I in no way consider blogging to be a waste of time, so that is definitely not on the list.  Anything that makes me think this hard is not a waste of time.)

Yesterday I took Sven to an appointment with a "pain management" doctor.  Finally, I thought, we were going to get some answers about his chronic back pain, maybe even some relief!  Instead, we experienced a cruel irony: we did paperwork for over an hour, waited another hour, got into the office at 3:15 for our 2:30 appointment, sat back with a nurse answering questions we had just spent over an hour answering, all to have the doctor come in at 3:45 and announce that he wouldn't have time to do Sven's appointment, but they would call that afternoon and schedule a new one.  (For the record, it is almost 9:00 a.m. the next day, and they still haven't called.  If they haven't called before I finish this entry, there will be Deb to pay.)

So, by my reckoning, we spent nearly 4 hours (including driving time) with this doctor in what turned out to be a colossal waste of time.  Here, in order, is how I could have spent those 4 hours far more productively:

1. iPod Apps: I have several, including TapWord, My Town, Sudoku, Ask the Hoff, and Flashlight, but my favorite has to be Tap Fish: This is an app on my iPod that allows me to feed, breed, buy, sell, and flush virtual fish.  They die if I don't check in every so often.  (One can revive the fish for coins, just like in real life!)

2. Island Paradise: This has to be my all-time favorite waste of time online.  I can spend hours and several REAL dollars updating and rearranging my personal island, accessed via Facebook.  Here is a recent photo:

I'm so proud.

3. Happy Island and Happy Aquarium: These Facebook Apps cannot suck up as much time as Island Paradise, but they each require me to check in a few times a day to get the maximum benefit.  I have, thus far, resisted spending any real money on either of these, though Happy Island now boasts a Lost-style foot statue that I simply must have.

4. Kindle: Also on my iPod is my Kindle app, which lets me purchase and download Kindle books and read them on my iPod.  I love this, particularly downloading free books.  I've paid for a couple, but the majority of my library is free books.  For the record, I have yet to actually read an entire book on my Kindle, but I'm about halfway through Bram Stoker's Dracula.  (The book, not the completely awesome terrible 1992 film starring Gary Oldman and Winona "I Had A Future" Ryder, not to mention Keanu Reeves boasting a "British" accent.  Now I'm inspired to shape my hair into buttocks and drift about in a red housecoat for the rest of the day.  But I digest.)

5. Twitter: I recently coerced Paul F. Tompkins, one of my favorite comedians, to respond to a tweet I sent to him.  His tweet to me: "Agreed."  That's just the encouragement I need to continue cyber-haunting my favorite celebrities, hoping they will respond to me with just as much feeling and consideration as Humanitarian of the Year Paul F. Tompkins.

They still haven't called.