So we're 36 pounds down now (and by "we" I mean "I") and I'm starting to think about what I'm going to do with I am finally thin.
1. I'm going to fly to Utah to meet Kristina, my BIFFALAWGAIRL. (Best Internet Friend Forever As Long As We Get Along In Real Life.) I'm longing to be judged in person.
2. I'm going to buy something from Dash, the exclusive clothing store owned by Kourtney and Klohe and Kimberly and Kris and KooKoo Kardashian. I'll be able to look like a desperate wannabe celebrity in the comfort of my own home!
3. I'm going to start a Joan Jett and the Blackhearts tribute band, Dark Deb and the Destroyers. I will play rhythm guitar and angst. Hopefully my workplace will support my decision to wear black leather at all times.
4. I'm going to take a picture of myself standing in one leg of my old pants. It just seems like the right thing to do. Then I'm going to get offended when friends ask me how much weight I've lost.
5. I'm going to run through a dewy meadow at dawn. Or run a marathon. Or watch a marathon of Mad Men on DVD. Or run mad through a crowd of men at Mardi Gras. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this one.
Anyway, it's going well. I'm feeling better every day. And that's what matters, right? That I'm healthier and better able to care for my kids and family.
And squeeze into those booty jeans.
Mom Tweets Daughter’s Funny Observations - Kelly Oxford is a Twitter power user, a screenwriter, a New York Times bestselling author. She’s also mother of a 7-year-old whose wit gives Mom a run for ...
2 days ago