Spring Break in the Valley of the Dinosaurs

Little known fact: dinosaurs once lived in Texas.  And I don't mean H. Ross Perot.

No, I mean actual, real dinosaurs.  They roamed freely throughout the Texas Hill Country, presumably until hipsters opened too many coffee bars and they became extinct.  Fortunately, Dinosaur Valley State Park in beautiful Glen Rose, Texas, memorializes this lost time in history for those with patience and a full tank of gas.

Here is Princess sitting in the fossilized footprint of a Sauropod, the class of dinosaurs that include Brontosaurus.

Here are Sven and Princess crossing the river to see more fossilized dino prints.

 Here is Dexy, sitting with me with his feet in the water.  That's as far as I got.

After exhausting ourselves at Dinosaur Valley State Park, we visited Dino World, which features hundreds of life-size models of dinosaurs on an outdoor path.

Welcome to Dino World!

 I don't trust that one, Mommy.

Run! Quick! I don't want to end up like Newman!

 You guys are funny.

 And we're done.  Home again, now!

Unfortunately, pictures cannot capture the way Dexy ran from dinosaur to dinosaur, screaming in fright when he saw each new one, but saying, "Bye, Dinosaur!" in a very friendly way when we moved on.

Neither can pictures capture the elaborate narrative Princess crafted, in which each dinosaur we approached told us, "You will not pass!" and then she would say, "Yes, but I am Princess, and I am a friend to all the unicorns!  You must let me pass!"  And then they would have a conversation about all of their mutual acquaintances, and we would leave as soon as the dinosaur had told Princess how beautiful she is.

It runs in the family.

Truth, Lies, and Burgers

Scene: Deb's car, after day care.

Players:

• Deb, a ravishingly beautiful yet understated working mom who manages to juggle home, family, work, and church without letting it show (other than that pesky facial tic and a nagging tendency to laugh wildly to fill silence), 23*
• Princess, Deb's adorable daughter, 4
• Dexy, Deb's impish son (non-speaking role), 2

Princess: Mommy, I have to talk to you about something serious.

Deb: What is it, my baby?

Princess: If you tell someone you are going to do something, and you don't do it, that's a lie.

Deb: That's right.

Princess: If you tell someone you are going to do something, then you should do it, because if you don't, that's a lie, and you're a LIAR.

Deb: Yes, honey.

Princess: And I don't trust liars, because sometimes liars will tell you that you're going to get something, and then you don't get it, and they lied to you, and you can't trust them anymore.

Deb: What happened, honey?

Princess:  Someone lied to me.

Deb: Who?

Princess: Someone who I trusted to do something good and nice, but they lied to me and I don't trust them.

Deb: What are you talking about, sweetie?

Princess:  If I say I want a hamburger, and they say I'm going to get a hamburger, and they give me chicken, then they lied to me.

Deb: What-

Princess: And then when they tell me, "You're going to get a cookie," and then they don't give me a cookie, I can't trust them.

Deb: Huh?

Princess: And not just me...they lied to DADDY.  Which is the worst thing of all.

Deb: Princess, what are you talking about?

Princess: We can't go to Whataburger anymore. They are liars who I don't trust who lied to me and gave me CHICKEN.

Deb: We haven't been to Whataburger in two weeks.

Princess: Because they are LIARS.

Deb: Okay, no more Whataburger.

Princess: Let's go to McDonald's.

Fin.

*32**

**35

Hanging on

I have a cold, again.  I'm coughing and not sleeping well and living on a constant diet of Fruit Breezers and water.  Time to count blessings.

1. Conan O'Brien has started a wonderful running joke on Twitter involving Justin Bieber.

2. Kevin Federline had a really important breakthrough on Celebrity Fit Club this week.

3. That horribly obnoxious girl on Sober House has been kicked out for punching a cameraman (on-camera!).

4. Lost continues to confound me, in a wonderful way.

5. Bret Michaels' bandana is getting its own show on VH-1, "Baldness Camouflage of Love," in which it must choose between 17 handkerchiefs to find its true love.  (Not really, but it's a great show inside my head.)

6. The guy on Tool Academy who cries all the time is still there.

7. Sven has not, to my knowledge, had an affair with a tattoo model with the nickname "Bombshell" who claims to have been "raised Amish."

8. New Moon: The Movie has been released on home video, which has proved to be a surprisingly effective sleep-aid.  Seriously, I can't stay awake through it, and I loved it in the theater.  Sigh.

9. The Princess and the Frog was surprisingly watchable.

10. Dexy has learned several new words and phrases, most of which I find encouraging rather than alarming: "Fire, again, dinosaur, one more time, help, knife, purse."  He also puts on Princess' shoes, grabs one of her play purses and hoists in onto his shoulder, puts on a pair of my sunglasses, and shouts "Bye, Mommy!" before tromping his way to the door, pausing, then announcing, "I'm back!"

Awesome.  I already feel better.