Friday, March 5, 2010

In Which Deb Has A Semi-Comforting Epiphany

Things have been rough in the Folksy Family lately.  Sven, who has ignored his chronic back pain for almost 10 years, had to leave work on Monday because he couldn't move.  One MRI later, we have the diagnosis: 3 herniated discs in his lower spine.  We have an appointment at the pain management clinic on March 15, so only a little more than a week to suffer.

This means Deb has been taking the kids to day care, working, picking up the kids from day care, cooking, going to the store, doing the laundry, and maintaining her virtual tropical island on Facebook all alone.  Fortunately, Momz has been helping by sneaking into the house and doing the dishes.

Thanks to these unexpected medical expenses, we are down to a bank balance so low, our payment to the day care next week will cut our available cash in half.  Only a week until payday!  We can get by, I'm sure.  "Best by" is just a recommendation, right?

I worked a 14-hour day yesterday.  The Folksy Children got to go to Grandma's after day care, which they loved.  (I was informed this morning that they expect to return to Grandma's house every day.)  Perhaps because they had so much fun, though, the kids were fussy and upset to be getting home so late, so we didn't get them into bed until after 10.

When I got to work this morning, I was so tired, I just sat in my car and cried.  I'm fine, really, but I just needed to be overwhelmed for a minute, and nothing clears your head like a good cry.  When I was done, I got out of the car and started walking to school.  Of course, because I was late, I was in the space furthest from the building.  I started to trudge in, then realized that I forgot my name tag.  I turned to go back to the car, and saw that I had walked quite a ways away from my car.  So far, in fact, that I literally couldn't process it for a moment.  "How did I get so far?" I thought.

And there it was: I was so focused on how far I still had to go that I didn't realize how far I had already gotten.  I stood there and just stared for a while, then returned to my car.  I know I've come a long way.  I know it's still a long way to go.  But I'll get there.