5:30 a.m.: It's Saturday, I could sleep longer, but maybe I'll be good today and go downstairs and get some housework done. The dishes haven't been touched all week...maybe I can load up the dishwasher before the kids get out of bed.
5:35 a.m.: Back from the bathroom, now both children are in my bed, fast asleep with Sven. Yep, might as well go downstairs.
5:40 a.m.: Having stubbed three toes and bruised two shins because I didn't want to turn on any lights, I arrive in the living room.
5:42 a.m.: Ah, an empty recliner and an unoccupied TV. I'll watch the end of this Law & Order and then do the dishes.
5:45 a.m.: Hello, children. Yes, you can have cheese. Let me get up to get it for you, then I'll sit in the recliner until the end of Law & Order and do the dishes.
5:47 a.m.: Yes, you may have some water, I'll get it for you, then I'll sit in the recliner until the end of Law & Order and do the dishes.
5:49 a.m.: I'll help you clean up the water, then I'll sit in the recliner until the end of Law & Order and do the dishes.
5:50 a.m.: I'll change your clothes after your sister spilled ice cold water all over you, and you can sit in the recliner with me until the end of Law & Order.
5:57 a.m.: There, nice and dry, and we missed the verdict. Oh, well, another one is coming on...
6:47 a.m.: I must have dozed off with a nice warm baby boy in the recliner. I guess I can get the verdict on this one, even though I have no idea what the case is.
6:48 a.m.: Oh, it's this one. Yeah, it's a good one. I'll watch until the verdict, then get up and do the dishes.
6:59 a.m.: I knew she did it. Now to the dishes!
7:00 a.m.: Having put away one clean plate, something explodes/bleeds/cries/complains.
Repeat every two minutes until 9:30 a.m.
9:30 a.m.: Good morning, Dear, would you like some breakfast?
9:35 a.m.: Serve breakfast to Sven and children.
9:37 a.m.: Sit down with my breakfast.
9:39 a.m.: Clean up milk spill.
9:41 a.m.: Sit back down with my breakfast.
9:42 a.m.: Kiss wounded finger; insist child come to me so I can stay seated.
9:45 a.m.: Having enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, I now proceed to the kitchen to finish the dishes, having gotten a momentous head start by putting away most of the clean dishes. In the bottom rack, anyway.
9:52 a.m.: Sven falls asleep in the recliner. Children discover cache of fireworks in dining room and begin to quietly construct elaborate pyrotechnic display.
9:53 a.m.: Choosing to ignore the fireworks because at least they are playing quietly, I scramble to finish the dishes.
10:00 a.m.: Demands for cheese resume and continue for the next two hours.
12:00 p.m.: The dishwasher loaded, I retreat up the stairs for a solitary nap, knowing I have accomplished something in my day.
12:02 p.m.: Dexy joins me for a solitary nap.
Suckered - “One guess who hit her brother.” (submitted by Lisa)
1 hour ago