Monday, March 15, 2010

In Which Deb Attempts to Do the Dishes

5:30 a.m.: It's Saturday, I could sleep longer, but maybe I'll be good today and go downstairs and get some housework done.  The dishes haven't been touched all week...maybe I can load up the dishwasher before the kids get out of bed.

5:35 a.m.: Back from the bathroom, now both children are in my bed, fast asleep with Sven.  Yep, might as well go downstairs.

5:40 a.m.: Having stubbed three toes and bruised two shins because I didn't want to turn on any lights, I arrive in the living room.

5:42 a.m.: Ah, an empty recliner and an unoccupied TV.  I'll watch the end of this Law & Order and then do the dishes.

5:45 a.m.: Hello, children.  Yes, you can have cheese.  Let me get up to get it for you, then I'll sit in the recliner until the end of Law & Order and do the dishes.

5:47 a.m.: Yes, you may have some water, I'll get it for you, then I'll sit in the recliner until the end of Law & Order and do the dishes.

5:49 a.m.: I'll help you clean up the water, then I'll sit in the recliner until the end of Law & Order and do the dishes.

5:50 a.m.: I'll change your clothes after your sister spilled ice cold water all over you, and you can sit in the recliner with me until the end of Law & Order.

5:57 a.m.: There, nice and dry, and we missed the verdict.  Oh, well, another one is coming on...

6:47 a.m.: I must have dozed off with a nice warm baby boy in the recliner.  I guess I can get the verdict on this one, even though I have no idea what the case is.

6:48 a.m.: Oh, it's this one.  Yeah, it's a good one.  I'll watch until the verdict, then get up and do the dishes.

6:59 a.m.: I knew she did it.  Now to the dishes!

7:00 a.m.: Having put away one clean plate, something explodes/bleeds/cries/complains.

Repeat every two minutes until 9:30 a.m.

9:30 a.m.: Good morning, Dear, would you like some breakfast?

9:35 a.m.: Serve breakfast to Sven and children.

9:37 a.m.: Sit down with my breakfast.

9:39 a.m.: Clean up milk spill.

9:41 a.m.: Sit back down with my breakfast.

9:42 a.m.: Kiss wounded finger; insist child come to me so I can stay seated.

9:45 a.m.: Having enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, I now proceed to the kitchen to finish the dishes, having gotten a momentous head start by putting away most of the clean dishes.  In the bottom rack, anyway.

9:52 a.m.: Sven falls asleep in the recliner.  Children discover cache of fireworks in dining room and begin to quietly construct elaborate pyrotechnic display.

9:53 a.m.: Choosing to ignore the fireworks because at least they are playing quietly, I scramble to finish the dishes.

10:00 a.m.: Demands for cheese resume and continue for the next two hours.

12:00 p.m.: The dishwasher loaded, I retreat up the stairs for a solitary nap, knowing I have accomplished something in my day.

12:02 p.m.: Dexy joins me for a solitary nap.


1 comment:

Kristina P. said...

Your first mistake was getting up at 5:30 AM. I would have no idea what that is like.