On being a HOB...

For fans of The Soup, HOB should be a familiar phrase. It is Joel McHale's response to the word "cougar," or an older woman who dates/stalks/kills/eats younger men. While I certainly don't date younger men, I cherish my young men crushes and delight in the thought that I am just barely old enough to qualify as a HOB. (HOB stands for Horny Old Broad.)

My current HOB crush is Zac Efron, pictured below:

Perhaps it is my '80's childhood, but I find very pretty boys dreamy. Those eyebrows, those eyes, the brows upon them...I just love it.

What would I get Zac for Christmas? A scarf and some pomade, probably. Zac, as befits any dream crush, would be easy to shop for. Not like my husband, whose politely appreciated and immediately forgotten Christmas and birthday presents make a sturdy pile in our garage. Why is it so hard to shop for the person you know best? Sven (not his real name, I'm sure it will change when he finds out what I'm calling him) and I have been together for almost 15 years, so why can I not figure out what to get him?

I'll tell you why. He is not, even a little bit, materialistic. He doesn't like anyone else to buy him clothes. He spends most of his leisure time fishing, an activity I cannot comprehend to the extent necessary to come up with a gift. I gave him two children fairly close to Christmas, but even I can't count them as gifts again this year...

I've bought him two things I hope he likes. One is a toy, one is a hobby. I'll update after the

holiday to let you know if he likes his gifts this year. And that scarf and pomade for Zac is under the tree, too...just in case.