Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's just a crush!

As a married lady, I have to be very careful about managing my crushes. I don't have "romantic" crushes per se, but I have some very specific crushes that have endured with me for a while.

My Gay Uncle Crush: Tim Gunn

As someone with four extremely wonderful, typical, avuncular uncles (I have two Uncle Johns, an uncle Ernie, and an Uncle Jim), I am in desperate need of a witty and fabulous gay uncle.  My gay uncle would be confidant, comforter, cheerleader, and gossip partner.  Tim would fit this description nicely by using impeccable vocabulary, watching the Oscars with me, and buying my children coordinating outfits. We would lunch together once a month (with him, I could use "lunch" as a verb) and he would encourage me to order salad, then split a rich dessert, assuring me that I had earned it.

My Fictional Character Crush, Book -and- My Fictional Character Crush, Movie:

The Cullens.

All of them. But especially Edward. But, all of them. My Fictional Crushes allow me to believe, for a moment, that I am a waifish, delicate flower of a lady who must be protected at all times from the evil forces that find me, as they do, irresistable. Then my toddler vomits on me, and my Fictional Crushes don't mind it at all, they claim it makes me more adorable.

My Fake Interview Crush: Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

Jon and I would enjoy witty repartee when I visit to plug my new novel, or album, whichever. He would delve into my unique political views, admitting that his were, perhaps, a bit simplistic. However, we would be great friends and I would evenutally share a segment with John Hodgman, who would then invite me to be in the next Mac ad campaign.

It's a hard life, here in my head, but I like it.

Coming soon: My HOB Fantasy Boy Crush, my Comedy Writing Team Crush...

Leave your own crushes in the comment section!!  It's loads of non-adulterous fun!


Machen family said...

I had a whole post on voice crushes. There is also a video on YouTube that I love with a young man sporting a mullet and dancing like nobodies business...I have a crush on him too. I'm trying to get that video on my blog, but I'm having issues with YouTube.
I really like your crushes..good choices. I'm going to have to go through my vault of many crushes and ponder on them.......hmmmm....

Kristina P. said...

I LOVE Jon Stewart. And I love Jack Bauer. Not really Kiefer Sutherland, but Jack Bauer. Hot!