One of my earliest memories is the following conversation with my mother:
Momz: ...and there were several things I just loved.
Deb: Mama, how many is 'several?'
Momz: I don't know, it's not a lot, but more than a few.
Deb: But how many is it?
Momz: One, two, three... several!
Deb: So 'several' is four?
Momz: Not exactly.
Deb: Then how many?
Based on this conversation, I began to define my idea of those words we use to indicate vague quantities:
A couple: two.
A few: three
Several: four or five
A bunch: six to eight
Lots of: nine to twelve
Bunches: more than twelve.
A whole mess of/Scads/Oodles: At least twenty.
Now, I understand that not everyone has this crazy (but adorable) need to make sure that vague notions of quantity are less vague, but that's me. It's my freak flag, and I fly it.
So the other night, Sven assures me that he brought up "a bunch of" Pull-Ups from our downstairs cache of Pull-Ups. So I go in, confident that there are AT LEAST SIX TO EIGHT Pull-Ups on Dexy's changing table. How many are there?
Apparently, to my husband, three is "a bunch." I cannot believe that, in my quest to achieve perfect compatibility, I overlooked defining vague quantities in the same way. Inexcusable. But it's never too late to start. The following is addressed, lovingly, to Sven:
THREE IS NOT A BUNCH! WOULD YOU BUY A "BUNCH" OF BANANAS THAT ONLY HAD THREE? MAYBE, BUT THAT'S IRRELEVANT! IT WOULD BE AN AWFULLY PUNY "BUNCH," WOULDN'T IT? THREE IS "A FEW" AND DON'T FORGET IT!
Now, it's time for me to get ready for work. I have a bunch of stuff to do today.
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