Serious Hair

I was at a meeting once, years ago, with other choir directors. A band director meeting was scheduled to begin right after ours, and the band directors began coming into the room as we were chatting after our meeting. Upon sighting Sven, one of my colleagues leaned toward me and murmured, "Now that is serious hair."

Sven's hair is a huge part of our lives. Thick and lustrous, slightly wavy, and greying in that gentle, Orry-and-George way, Sven's hair is his crowning glory.

(Orry and George are the main characters in North and South, the landmark 1980's miniseries starring Patrick Swayze and James Read. Their characters age 20+ years over the course of the story, said aging indicated by grey, then white streaks at the temples only. And George grows a beard.)

When we first began dating, Sven meticulously styled his hair into a majestic style I dubbed "The Swoop." Observe:

Yes, that is us, in 1994. We had just started dating. Note that his hair is far more serious than mine.

Sven continued the swoop until he learned that most people cannot cut his hair. He has strange loops and whorls and cowlicks that cause his hair to poke up if certain strands are cut too short, so his current method of hairstyling is as follows:

1. Cut his hair far too short.

2. Complain about how short his hair is and how bad it looks.

3. Grow his hair out.

4. Complain about how long his hair is.

5. Continue to allow his hair to grow, while complaining about how long his hair is.

6. Grow a beard.

7. Complain about the beard for a while.

8. Shave the beard.

9. Go back to step 1.

It's a six-month to one-year process. Yes, it takes a lot of work, but Sven's hair's well-being is worth it.