Monday, October 19, 2009

In My Head: Top Chef

Padma: Chefs, today's Elimination Challenge was to create a sophisticated entree that could also be served as an amuse-bouche. You were told to bring your entree to an undisclosed location that we frankly discussed as though it was a secret bomb shelter type bunker, but was actually some lame pseudo celebrity hosted dinner party. You know your judges. You had our least favorite dishes. Deb, let's start with you.

Deb: Okie-dokie.

Tom: Deb, can you describe the dish?

Deb: I started with a really delicate white tuna that I marinated in spring water, then added green peas and mushrooms, a mushroom sauce, and hearty pasta.

Tom: It was tuna fish casserole.

Deb: Yep.

Padma: Are you aware, Deb, that I found an eggshell in my portion?

Deb: Then you win the prize!

Padma: (Looks severely beautiful and unamused)

Tom: Deb, I get that you do comfort food, but this is the eighth time you've been on the bottom. Frankly, I thought we should have sent you home last week for the Chef Boy-ar-Dee ravioli dish.

Deb: I know, right?

Gail: Since you've been here, you've made a ham sandwich, macaroni and cheese, and a Stouffer's lasagne that was still frozen in the middle. I'm starting to doubt that you're Top Chef Material.

Tom: Though you really shined in the Cheez-Whiz challenge, I'm afraid your time has come.

(Dramatic pause while music plays.)

Padma: Deb, please pack your knives and go.

Deb: Knives?



Joanna said...

I would have kept you on the show. You obviously know the right stuff to cook. And how did an eggshell fragment even GET into a tuna casserole?

Barbaloot said...

Yum-wish I would've been there for the Stouffer's one.

Kristina P. said...

Was this the Project Runway version of Top Chef?

Boy Mom said...

If it's any comfort, Deb, I made homemade manicotti for Sunday dinner yesterday. Of the 9 judges: 1 was happy I liked it, 1 liked it better than spaghetti but not as much as enchiladas, and 7 gave it a big fat stinking thumbs down, wayyyyy dowwwwwn! I should have thrown in a freakin' frozen Lasagna.

Hilarious post!

CMGould said...

LOL.... seriously, I fell out of my chair reading this. That would be fun television!

Mummy McTavish said...


Mayhem and Moxie said...

Padma is totally over-rated, but I suppose every show needs a statuesque model in the background telling people what to do. Hmmm...maybe I could be this for you?!?

I've missed you and your blog posts, Deb!