Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Gadgets Gone Wild (Clean Version)

We have a new vacuum cleaner.

After last week's adventure with bullets and glass, we needed one.

Our venerable bagless upright, alas, overdosed on large chunks of safety glass and died.

But check out my new machine: The Hoover Annihilator

(Actual name: Hoover Wind Tunnel Platinum. I like my name better.)

The Annihilator is such a cool machine, I haven't been allowed to use it yet. Sven is obsessed with annihilating the dirt, dust, and allergens from every flat surface in our home.

You see, the Annihilator has a feature that I have never heard of, but makes me believe that the land of the future promised to us by "The Jetsons" has arrived.

On the top of the roller-brush part, where the operator can easily look down and see it, is a small computer display. The display shows two words: "Dirty" (in red) or "Clean" (in peaceful soothing green). Fortunately, I had vacuumed the carpet in our living room that morning, so we could conduct a scientific test. Sven ran the new vacuum over our seemingly-clean floor. It said "Dirty" for about four swipes, then it said "Clean."

"Hmmm," Sven said. "Maybe it's programmed for number of swipes, with the angle calculated...hmmm." Then he turned it off.

The collection canister was full of dust, grime, and hair.

He has been vacuuming ever since. He just came downstairs and emptied the thing (again!) saying, "I don't know how it knows!"

I have to pause now, for Sven just gave me the following command: "Go smell our room." Who could resist an invitation like that?

I'm back. Our room smells great. It didn't stink before, but it honestly smells like a brand new carpet. Even the odor I convinced myself we were preserving as a memorial to our deceased cat, Incontinento, is gone.

I watch Sven with the vacuum and see a gleam in his eye that tells me he's not cleaning the house. He's conquering dust and odor, armed with his Hoover Annihilator of Doom, making the world fresh-smelling and allergen free for the oxygen-loving citizenry.

I can see the comic book now.


Billy Bob Bambino Bombabious Baby the Third said...

I do the vacuuming in my house, and my wife does the evaluating. If we had a sensor on our house it would definitely point to "dirty"... How much was said Annihilator? My wife has been looking at the Dyson which is big buck$ - waaaaaay more than I would rather spend. Good to know that you like this one. I'm going to look into it now...

Deb said...

Much cheaper than the Dyson, that's for sure.

Debbie said...

I need that! Oh, and Sven to use it.

Barbaloot said...

Wow-something that actually makes a man want to vacuum? I want an Annihilator.

Kristina P. said...

Maybe I should have just bought this, rather than spend $225 on carpet cleaning.

Joanna said...

It wonderful when couples have things to share. And I want to buy that comic book! Sven the Sweep! Of Doom!!!

prashant said...

Wow-something that actually makes a man want to vacuum?..

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