Today I went to one of our local high schools to rehearse with some budding instrumentalists in preparation for an upcoming solo competition. I was supposed to get there at 3:30, but left late, and when I got there all of the outside doors were locked. It was 3:45 by the time I got into the building, and I puffed into the orchestra room with an apology on my lips that was never uttered.
When I walked in, the teacher and three students who were there looked at me, then went back to what they were doing. I stood there for a while, waiting for them to take a break in their lesson so I could figure out what was going on, but no such opportunity arose.
For 12 minutes.
I stood there for 12 minutes and waited for someone to acknowledge me. I was furious. I was very close to just picking up my stuff and leaving when the teacher said, "I don't know, she was supposed to be here at 3:30."
"Did you mean your accompanist?" I said (a bit loudly, but I'm sure I was not rude. Mostly.). "That's me." What followed was a flurry of apologies and their explanation:
THEY THOUGHT I WAS A STUDENT.
Seriously. They thought I was a high school student. We practiced and, after many more apologies, I left. I thought it was odd but, well, whatever.
Then I went to Wal-Mart where I purchased some health food items that apparently can no longer be sold to minors. The cash register prompted the cashier to ask for ID. I smiled at her. She smiled back at me. I smiled more. She looked at me expectantly.
"Do you want to see my ID?" I finally asked incredulously.
"Yes, please," she replied.
"I'm 36," I said. I was dumbfounded. "That's 18 x 2."
"Still, I need to see it," she said. It was with a great sense of ironic pleasure that I showed her my license and accepted the disbelief on her face as a compliment.
I either need to stop wearing these jeans or wear them CONSTANTLY.
Mom Tweets Daughter’s Funny Observations - Kelly Oxford is a Twitter power user, a screenwriter, a New York Times bestselling author. She’s also mother of a 7-year-old whose wit gives Mom a run for ...
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