On Monday, I got home and I was so tired, I just couldn't wait to sit down, put my feet up, open up the computer, and write for a while. When I got home, I was confronted by a grave reality: the dishes had piled up in the sink, there were loads of clothes waiting to be washed, dried, and folded, and the garbage can was full to the point that Sven and I were actively competing to see who would be the sucker that had to actually change the bag, meaning we were precariously balancing mountains of garbage on top of the already full can.
I looked around my house and got mad. No, not mad. I was furious. I put my things down and began to attack the garbage, then the dishes. I rattled and banged and generally let everyone know that I. Was. Not. Happy.
"I love you, Mommy," Princess said, patting me.
"I love you, too," I snarled.
"I can take care of supper," Sven offered from the recliner.
"Great," I snapped. "You do that."
"I want chicken nuggets, Daddy," said Dexy.
"Chick-Fil-A! Chick-Fil-A!" chanted Princess.
"Okay, I'll be right back," said Sven. When I turned around, they were all gone. I ran out and caught them, hearing that Sven was taking the children with him. I knew then that I would not be seeing them for a long time. "I'm just going through the drive-thru," Sven said. I cackled bitterly, wiping dish soap from my eyebrows.
Two hours later, when they returned home, I got the scoop. Here's what happened:
Sven: Now, kids, we're just going through the drive-thru and going home.
Princess: Well, Daddy, since Mommy's not eating, we don't really need to bring the food home.
Sven: I suppose we can see how crowded it is, and if it isn't too crowded we might be able to eat there.
Princess: I think Mommy wants to be alone. We should eat there to help Mommy.
Sven: We'll see.
Princess: And then we can play on the playground for just a minute.
Sven: All right, we'll see.
Princess: Thank you, Daddy.
They came home after the dishwasher had been run and I had all of the laundry folded, and I was much, much calmer. Sven had that wry expression that told me he knew he had been suckered by a tiny little girl with dimples and pigtails.
Maybe I need to "Hulk out" on the housework more often...
Business, Game Of Thrones-Style - “We own a family company. Mom thought she bought a map of the the world for the conference room.” (via source)
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