If there's one thing I pride myself on, it is my morning routine. I am a paragon of efficiency. I treasure my mornings, for, as you will see, it is during my mornings that I am most myself.
The following takes place between 2:00 A.M. and 8:00 A.M.:
2:00 A.M.: One of the children staggers in, wakes me up, announces "I had a bad dream," and gets into bed with me.
2:45 A.M.: The other one repeats that process.
3:15 A.M.: I accept that I will not be getting back to sleep and get out the computer to write for a few minutes.
4:00 A.M.: I finish with my Facebook, discussion boards, e-mail checks, and general internet playing and get down to the business of writing.
4:20 A.M.: My alarm goes off and is turned off.
4:50 A.M.: I get up and go downstairs to walk on the treadmill.
5:30 A.M.: I stagger upstairs and take a shower. The children may or may not be awake at this point. If they are, my shower is cut to 3 minutes and I emerge from the bathroom screaming "Put that down!" and "Don't stick that in your father, he's sleeping!"
5:33-5:50 A.M: Get out of the shower (see note above). Get out computer just to check on that last sentence.
6:15 A.M.: Get off of Facebook and just check that last sentence.
6:30 A.M.: Say defensively to Sven, "I AM getting ready!"
6:45 A.M.: Finish makeup, move to bathroom to dry hair.
6:50 A.M.: Discover that I have literally no clothes that fit me anymore, cry.
6:55 A.M.: Realize that the dress I saved for years because I couldn't bear to give it away even though it was too small fits, rejoice.
6:58 A.M.: Go downstairs, put shoes on various feet and ponytails on various heads.
7:01 A.M.: Announce I am leaving.
7:05 A.M.: Return to get glasses. Announce I am leaving.
7:07 A.M.: Kiss a crying Dexy, who is on the driveway lamenting, "I just wanted to say I love you, Mommy!"
7:10 A.M.: Realize I forgot my vitamins, go back in.
7:15 A.M.: Help Sven put the kids in his car, kiss faces.
7:21 A.M.: Swear.
7:25 A.M.: Leave for work, secure in the knowledge that I have nearly five minutes to get there and be on time.
7:38 A.M.: Arrive at work. Gaze at the pile of work I left for myself the night before.
7:42 A.M.: Swear.
8:00 A.M.: Greet my first class of the day with a smile and a song. That other stuff can wait.