Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The kindness of Relative Strangers

I heard on NPR a version of the following story:

Since it's been 20 years since the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas scandal, apparently Mrs. Thomas decided to make amends.  (Maybe it's been 20 years.  Maybe not.  I'm not a journalist.)

So, Mrs. Thomas, in an extraordinarily selfless act, decided to reach out to Ms. Hill.  She phoned her (at work) and left her a very touching voice mail, which she describes as "extending an olive branch."

In this phone call, Mrs. Thomas invited Ms. Hill to finally apologize to her and her husband.  Nothing says selfless like, "Hey, it's okay.  Apologize to me.  You've earned it."

I don't know whether or not Ms. Hill's allegations were true, and I don't care.  It's actually irrelevant to this story.  The beautiful thing here is someone actually thinking calling someone who has accused your husband of sexual harassment and not only bringing it up, but asking that person to apologize to you, is "peacemaking."

This gives me so many ideas, I don't know what to do with myself.  I can't wait to start reaching out to all of the people who I think owe me apologies.  The list begins with, but is not limited to:

  • Victoria Beckham
  • Jane Austen (Death is no excuse for being obstinate.)
  • Natalie Portman
  • The Old Spice Guy
  • Stephenie Meyer
  • George W. Bush
  • George Bush Sr.
  • George Bush (mows the lawn next door, no relation)
  • Mittens (cat; can still miaow plaintively.)
  • Jon Hamm
  • The writers for SNL '09-'10 season
  • Glee
  • Heidi Klum
  • Steve Martin
  • Stephen King
  • Stephen Weber
  • Weber Grills
  • Lil' Wayne
  • The Ghost
  • Mrs. Muir
  • Anyone named "Penelope."
I will expect my apologies forthwith.  You're welcome.


Kristina P. said...

Mario Lopez owes me an apology for being born and making my life miserable.

I would also like Candy Corn to apologize to me.

susan said...

We were on a trip to Disneyland with my in-laws, Adorable Hubby was driving and insisted on listening to every wretched second of the Clarence Thomas hearings, my baby was puking on one side of me, my brother-in-law on the other side, mummy and daddy in-law were arguing over directions....

Was that only 20 years ago???? Feels like yesterday!!!