It's that time again, when I have to buckle down and make the most important decision I make twice a year: what to get Sven for Christmas.
He is impossible to shop for. He doesn't care for gadgets, so I'm out there. If he does find a gadget he likes, it becomes welded to him for at least a decade (thank you iPod touch!). He hates it when I (or anyone else, for that matter) buy him clothes. He has hobbies: he fishes, and then cooks what he catches. But I can only give him so many bags of wood chips, and I hate to give a gift card.
So, here it is: Deb's Gift Guide for the Dude You Can't Shop For. Here is a comprehensive (not at all) list (in the sense there is more than one item) of terrific (if we're being very loose with the language) ideas (things I am clinging to as my last hope) for last-minute (less than two weeks left) gifts (whew).
1. A ribald t-shirt. Nothing says "I love you" like a t-shirt emblazoned with a stormtrooper sitting on a toilet. Thanks to my recent subscription to the "I Love Movies" podcast, I have a code to get 20% off my order at Donkey T's (put "MOVIES" in the coupon code box). (Warning: ribaldry contained therein.)
2. Specialty food items. Nothing says "I love you, Grandpa," like a Hickory Farms Sampler. For the hubs, though, I have to kick it up a notch. I need to get him something he either needs to wrestle to a draw or set on fire before eating it. Two words: ostrich meat. Imagine the conversations he can have!
Sven: So, have you had ostrich?
Hezekiah: No, can't say that I have.
Sven: It's all right.
3. A ridiculous toy that he will admire in the abstract but never actually use and/or give to the children. I admit this is the route I usually go. Last year's present, an interactive voice-activated R2D2 robot, has been in a box in our dining room since last January. (The year before, I gave him a son, which has been somewhat more successful.) This year, I am frankly out of ideas for useless toys.
A GPS? Maybe, but I just don't think there is room in the drawer with the PDA, pocket-sized digital camera, electronic organizer, and, I believe, a slide-rule.
He already has an iPod.
I now share with you the coolest online shopping site ever: I Want One of Those. This site has grown up toys for every taste and budget level. It's a British site, but don't despair: most of these gifts are available in the U.S. It's great for getting ideas.
I've got a few right now...
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