This weekend is one of the most important for our family. It is only fitting that the entire country celebrate as well.
Of course, I'm talking about the 5th of July.
Yes, you read that right. The 5th of July is Sven's birthday. This year he turns 36, the sexiest age a man can be.
Sven is a wonderful husband, but he is very difficult to shop for. This year, in honor of Billy Mays, I plan to give him many useful products As Seen on TV. I have chosen these products for their usefulness, but also for the message they send:
1. A Big City Slider station. Nothing says "I love you" like a tiny hamburger. Now, we can have our own restaurant-style sliders every day of the year! Or, once, and then never wash it!
2. The Awesome Auger. Nothing says "I love you" like a hole in the ground. Now, Sven can indulge his great love of digging. Then he can build a big fire in one of the new holes and grill sliders. It's a win-win.
3. Mighty Putty. Nothing says "I love you" like a wad of clay-like substance. Now Sven can stop all of those leaks! And I can indulge my love for hammering nails through PVC pipe!
4. The Water Jet pressure washer. Nothing says "I love you" like a tool designed to dislodge dirt, mold, and bird feces from your house. This has the added bonus of being a chore waiting to be done! Happy birthday, honey! Now get to work.
5. What Odor? odor-removal product. Nothing says "I love you" like a product designed to remove odors so offensive you previously considered throwing away/selling/euthanizing the source of the odor. I love you dear. What odor?
I love you, honey. Happy birthday.
You know this blog entry is your present, right?