Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I don't like it when people say things they don't mean for the sake of social convention.

I don't like it when people assume I'm saying things for the sake of social convention.

I never know when to respond to the statement as though it were heartfelt, or if I should give the polite, social response.


Deb: Hello, Old Friend! Who I haven't spoken to in years!

Old Friend: Hey! So good to see you! We should get together and catch up!

Deb: {Okay, does she really mean it? Should I suggest a time or day? Or is she just saying it to be nice? Pause growing awkward, say something!} Oh, that would be great!

Old Friend: Yeah, let's make sure to do that! {Exit}

Deb: Will never happen. {tear}

But I wonder...maybe Old Friend misread me. Maybe she was waiting for a clearer indication from me that I really wanted to get together. Hmmmm....

Old Friend 2: Hey, Deb! Great to see you!

Deb: It's great to see you! We should get together and catch up! {Oh no, it's on me now...}

Old Friend 2: We should!

Deb: How about lunch next week sometime?

Old Friend 2: I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you. It was great to see you! {Exit}

Deb: Dang.

Of course, I recognize that this isn't just me. It just feels that way, because I'm so introverted. I live in my head about 80% of the time, so putting things "out there" is scary. I don't think I'm completely socially inept (though rereading this entry has moved me to consume a Cookie of Shame), but sometimes the social niceties irritate me. My ideal conversation with my old friend:

Old Friend: Deb! It's great to see you!

Deb: It's great to see you! I would actually like to spend some time with you!

Old Friend: Me, too! I suggest you and I meet at this restaurant tonight to have dinner!

Deb: I would enjoy that very much.


Old Friend: Deb! It's great to see you!

Deb: Me, too! Although I wouldn't care to continue a lengthy conversation with you, I would like a brief update on what has happened in your life in the past twenty years!

Old Friend: I actually don't care that much about you, please just tell me how many kids you have and what you do for a living!

Deb: Will do! This was great!

Old Friend: See ya!



Kristina P. said...

Don't these sort of seem like Facebook conversations?

Deb said...

I'm pretty awkward on Facebook, too.

Barbaloot said...

Can I have a Cookie of Shame?

The Domestic Flunky said...

I feel exactly the same way! Even the part about being 80% in your head... except that I'm in my head. :)

Debbie said...

I have one friend that always says, "Let's get together. How about..." and I know it is genuine. I love that.

CMspence said...

Are the cookies chocolate chunk?

Mummy McTavish said...

Having quickly read this post this morning it was in my mind when I ran into a friend I haven't seen in two years at a birthday party this afternoon. I actually said as we were leaving "it's been great to catch up, I'll probably see you again in another two years" she agreed and we went on our way with no need for those thoughts that fill your head after those "lets get together" conversations.