Inside My Head

The following takes place inside Deb's head between 8:00 and 9:00 p.m.:

8:00- Well, it's 8:00.  Time for me to get to bed.  You know, I should just take a quick shower, I haven't slept much lately, but I really want to take a bubble bath.  That sounds nice, a long, warm bubble bath, write a blog entry...I can still be in bed by 9:00.

8:07- Okay, waiting for Princess to get off the potty.  She's hollering in there, something about the toilet paper needing to go into time out.  How long can she take?  Sven, just tell me to go on up.

8:10- I hope Sven's not mad that I just came on up.  Okay, bubble bath time!  In this beautiful garden jetted tub that is...completely full of children's bath toys.

8:15- Okay, the tub is clean, the water is running, I'm brushing my teeth...what am I forgetting?

8:17- I'm pretty sure this bubble bath isn't supposed to be grey.  I guess it's been a while since I had a bubble bath.  This Huggies Lavender and Chamomile Baby Wash ought to do it.

8:18- It doesn't seem to be making a lot of bubbles...let's just squirt some more in there.

8:19- Okay, putting my book on the edge of the tub, turning on the jets, now I'll turn around and take the five steps to the tub...

8:19:30- WHAT HAPPENED???  WHERE IS THE TUB???  WHERE IS MY BOOK???  THOSE BUBBLES ATE MY BOOK???  HOW DID I GET TWO FEET OF BUBBLES IN AN EIGHTEEN-INCH TUB?

8:20- Okay, turning off the jets, everything's fine.  No need to panic.  Look, your book is right here, covered in devil bubbles.  It will be fine.  You do not need to buy another copy.

8:22- All right, new copy of the book is ordered from Amazon, time to get in the tub.

8:23- Draining all of the water from the tub, as my presence displaced enough water to fill the bathroom with bubbles.  Hopefully no one will notice the bubble marks near the ceiling.

8:25- Bubbles are uncomfortably warm.  Filling the tub with cool water.

8:27- I am now swathed in bubbles, like a woman in a movie.  You know, those scenes where the heroine is supposedly naked in a tub, but covered in bubbles so thick there's no way to be sure?  I always doubted that could happen in real life, but now look at me.  Should I go and get the camera?  It would be a good picture for the blog.

8:28- Okay, no picture.  My mom reads this blog, and I'd never hear the end of it if I posted a naked picture of myself, bubbles or no.  Not to mention Calliope, Happiness Incarnate, and all of my other church friends... clearly, my better nature has won for now.

8:29- Or has it?

Okay, it has, that's not me, but it's pretty close to how covered with bubbles I was.

8:35- Getting out of the tub and into the shower.  Wash the hair, rinse off the bubbles...

8:40- Out of the shower.  Ah, I know what I forgot... towels.  All of the clean towels are downstairs.

8:45- Okay, now I really need to get out of the shower.  Maybe there's a semi-clean towel out there somewhere.

8:47- Nope.

8:52- Okay, a quick check in the mirror, make sure my makeup is off, and then a blog entry.  I have eight whole minutes.

8:53- Why do I think of Andy Rooney whenever I see my eyebrows?

8:54- Okay, blog entry... how about Andy Rooney?  No, forget that.  Just free associate, the ideas will come.  Andy Rooney.  Mickey Rooney.  Mickey Mouse.  Mouseketeers.  The Three Musketeers.  Chocolate bars.  Junk food.  Heroin.  Twilight.  Rob Pattinson.  Andrew Lloyd Webber.  Andy Rooney.

8:59- Just give up.  You'll be able to think of something tomorrow.  After all, you wouldn't want a whole blog entry of just the junk floating around in your head, right?

9:18- Rob Pattinson... zzzzz....