Twilight

Okay, I have been reading all of the "critiques" of the new reason for my existence, the Twilight series of books. (The movie will join my obsession, possibly, once the DVD comes out.) Some of these critiques are very funny and true, but it doesn't change the horrible truth: I love Twilight. I'm a 33 year old mother of two. Kill me now.

Reason 1 why I love Twilight: Tension. Good, old-fashioned, I-know-they-won't-but-maybe-they-will-no-wait,-they-won't sexual tension. I love it.

Okay, so it's not Pulizter prize-level writing. I don't think it's bad writing, either, because it conveys a compelling story effectively.

Reason 2 why I love Twilight: Rob Pattinson (yes, Kristina!!!) as Edward Cullen. I actually find Rob Pattinson fascinating, but oddly unattractive. As Edward, though, he is my wild teenage fantasy boy incarnate.

It's pure wish fulfillment- scratch any Twilight fan and you'll find a lonely, bookish teenage girl who watched the hot boy and secretly dreamed of him falling for her. The fact that the hot boy in this case is a vampire is even hotter. As the fat girl with straws up her nose, I would dream of being delicate and imperiled, waiting for that beautiful angel-like teenage god to come and rescue me.

Reality, of course, is that most teenage boys are bepimpled and rude. Even Mike Newton would stand out compared to most of the teenaged boys I encounter. (No, I won't tell you who he is, read the book.)

Reason 3 why I love Twilight: Reality sucks. This is better.